Rantity rant rant!

[kengr]

Argh! I cannot *believe* some "writers".



I've been reading some Buffy fan fic that is sort of linked to the "Naked in school" universe.

The author's spelling and grammar weren't too bad. I've managed to enjoy *far* worse.

I started to get a bit bugged when he specified a group of 10 people involved in "the Program". I could understand not naming all of them. But then he had someone in public refer to three of them by name during an introduction and then not name the others (trust me, the way he did it was such that this just *didn't* work).

And there were other things. But what led to this rant was when he has one girl ask another is she can give her a *blow job*. No, I'm not kidding.

And only a couple paragraphs later he has another pair of girls going at it and refers to one as *fellating* the other!!!!

Look, if you are gonna write porn, especially porn involving a gender or orientation other than your own, do a bit of reading and research so you don't make a fool of yourself and insult your readers' intelligence.

Another thing, so far I have yet to see any evidence that the writer knows anything about female genitalia either. Well, he seems to know that there's a hole down there.

Comments

[iamjw.livejournal.com]

oh_johnny_

Alternatively, if you want to see the whole community and watch 16 year old girls marvel at my l33t writing skillz: beatlesslash

It's not exactly hardcore, but any feedback you care to offer would be welcome.

[kengr]

Well, so far you are doing great. The only thing that even comes close to being an "excuse me?" is this:

Paul growled and rounded on John, pushing him up against the wall. Closing in, he pushed his hands up under the other’s shirt, thrust a thigh in between his legs, took John’s mouth in his, claiming it for his own.

I know it's possible to get a guy off with something about leg sized moving between his legs. (yues, there's a tale there :-)

But with guys their age you don't want to just "thrust" a leg in there. Or you are apt to have a rather unpleasant effect.

"Let's be careful out there..."

Seriously, it's a *very* minor nit. I'm just overly sensitive to that issue because I tend to be *way* more vulnerable to that sort of accident compared with most guys.

[iamjw.livejournal.com]

Ummm, I'm almost afraid to ask this, but why "guys their age" particularly (bearing in mind that they're in their early 20's as this is set)as opposed to men generally?

[kengr]

I meant "their age" as opposed to *younger*. Until you are well into puberty the target(s) are small to non-existent.

I had younger on my mind because of when I learned that bit about how good a leg sized object between the legs can feel. :-)

[iamjw.livejournal.com]

Ah. Okay.
(and you know you're dying to tell me the story , so just go ahead :-))

[kengr]

Well, if you *insist* (truthfully, I was either going to let it drop or make an LJ entry asking a *very* odd question).

When I was in 4th or 5th grade (say 10-12) I was playing around on the swingset. Basicly a couple A-frames of metal tubing with another tube joining the tops of the As. From the cross tube hung a couple of swings and a two person thing with seats facing each other.

I was try to "shinny up" one of the legs of an A-frame. I'd get part way up and slide down a but as I couldn't maintain a tight enough grip.

All of a sudden there was this *wonderful* feeling in my groin. I tried to duplicate it, but I couldn't figure out what exactly I'd *done*. So I gave up after 10 minutes or so.

Yes, I managed to *accidentally* give myself an orgasm! Not not be sure how.

[iamjw.livejournal.com]

Y'know, either I've heard this before or you are not the only person to have experienced this. Seems all my time spent actually *swinging* on the swing set could have been better spent :-)

[kengr]

Well, I'm told that for females, swinging can be quite fun with a good set of ben wa balls in place. <eg>

And I'm stll amazed that I couldn't "get it right" again *and* that I let the matter drop after trying for no more than 15 minutes.

[kengr]

Oh yeah, a couple of items you might want to make use of (or not depending on if your mind is evil enough to use them).

*Taste* is an interesting issue. I'll just note that aspagus is reputed to make semen taste *awful*. And pineapple juice rather improves the flavor. Other than that, it's a matter of (forgive me) taste as to how palatable the stuff is.

On second thought, I'll refrain from the info on the "internals" of anal sex unless you plan to go into any details about it. I'll just note that the prostate is definitely a male "g-spot". :-)

[iamjw.livejournal.com]

Pineapple juice, huh? I'll bear that in mind.

I know about the prostate, just haven't quite figured out how much detail I really want to go into - or how to do it without being boring, especially as I'm writing this more to be titillating than as something to jerk off to.

[kengr]

Well, the prostate is on the side towards the front of the body. It's in about a finger lengtyh. And feels rather nice when stimulated nicely. Though it can also make you think you need too pee rather badly if "too" stimulated.

You don't. If you "let it happen" you'll ejaculate (without an orgasm, a very strange but pleasant sensation).

It's much better if the anal stimulation is combined with genital stimulation.

And I've gone into more detail than you'll probably put in, but I suspect it'll come in handy if you decided to get less vague. Background to let what you *do* write come out "correct".

Oh yeah, on oral sex, I assume you know about the problems with gag reflexes and with teeth?

[kengr]

Doh! Can't believe I forgot this.

Another problem with oral sex is that you can get sore (mouth or tongue, even neck) if it takes the guy you are performing oral sex on too long to "get off".

Rather frustrating for all involved.

I imagine this and the teeth and gag reflex stuff would be useful if you ever decide to do a story about their "first time" fumblings.

[iamjw.livejournal.com]

Though it can also make you think you need too pee rather badly if "too" stimulated.

Rather like clitoral stimulation, then.

And I have a pretty good idan of the difficulties involved in oral sex having some experience of the matter myself :-)

[kengr]

Well, I figured I should be complete, just in case. :-)