startling realization
Dec. 29th, 2013 04:25 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kengrI was reading about a study of what happened when men got into women's spaces. Stuff like there being 5 men to almost 40 women, but the men did 50% of te talking, and were "deferred" to a lot.
I suddenly remembered an incident at a party some years back. I'd wandered into a group of folks I mostly knew and they were talking about something I was interested in (might have been computers, might have been gaming). And I kept trying to join inn but kept getting ignored.
Now, this is a continuing problem with me as I'm overly polite and not very assertive. So I have trouble finding a break I feel I can use to interject things.
This time it was a lot worse than usual. So much so I finally went elsewhere feeling really lousy.
But now I'm wondering. I know that I went to a lot of those parties en femme. Being as it's been so long, I don't recall if I was that time. But if I was, that'd make the suck even worse. Because those folks knew me both ways. And that'd mean that they were unconsciously tteating me differently.
I suddenly remembered an incident at a party some years back. I'd wandered into a group of folks I mostly knew and they were talking about something I was interested in (might have been computers, might have been gaming). And I kept trying to join inn but kept getting ignored.
Now, this is a continuing problem with me as I'm overly polite and not very assertive. So I have trouble finding a break I feel I can use to interject things.
This time it was a lot worse than usual. So much so I finally went elsewhere feeling really lousy.
But now I'm wondering. I know that I went to a lot of those parties en femme. Being as it's been so long, I don't recall if I was that time. But if I was, that'd make the suck even worse. Because those folks knew me both ways. And that'd mean that they were unconsciously tteating me differently.
