Help?

[kengr]

I've run into this before, but UI think it's time to ask for some advise on how "normal" people would handle this...

I have a moderately urgent need to get some stuff moved into storage. Lin and Kermit have helped as they can, but Wed, their van suffered a moderately serious problem with the side door. So we only got two loads moved.

They offered to help.

I've asked Gary if he could help and he said yes. And that's the last I've heard.

This is where I get confused. This sort of thing has happened to me before. I tell folks that I need help with something and then *nothing*.

*I* am expecting them to tell me when would be convenient, since I've got the more flexible schedule (within limits).

Obviously, I'm doing something wrong. Or not doing something right.

But damned if I know what.

Anybody want to try explaining it to me?

Comments

[netdancer.livejournal.com]

You'll need to be more aggressive. Call people and say "Ok, how's Thursday at 2pm for you, on helping me move this stuff?" They're probably waiting for you to tell them when they're supposed to be there helping. You can work out the wheres and whens on the phone.

Traditionally, if people help you move a large amount of stuff, you feed them. Maybe offer chili? Or soup? Or maybe pizza?

[draxenn.livejournal.com]

Usually when I offer to help move, I expect them to tell me when they want me to help.
I mean, it's your stuff, it's your schedule. If I can be there during the alloted time, I will.
At least, that's how I am.

=)

[flameamongcoals.livejournal.com]

Agreed. You could stress the importance of how it needs to get done, now. You're not being bitchy; it's not your deadline. You need help, and if they're going to help you, next week won't do.

And if they turn their back on you, well, you know what they say. If you lend somebody twenty dollars and never see them again, it was worth the twenty dollars.

Personally, I called my friend on Christmas morning because I was hiding a puppy in my apartment and I couldn't get in the shower without it barking (and I'd slept on the floor to keep it quiet). My friend came over at 6:15am, Christmas morning, to watch the dog and keep it quiet. Friends do that kind of thing...just like you would do, without question.

That's good advice for life; expect other people to respond the way you would respond, and address them accordingly. If you wouldn't have a problem helping someone, then assume your friends won't, either.

Good friends don't have a problem helping each other.

[kengr]

Alas, other people *don't* react the way I do. :-(

This is why I have trouble with stuff like this.

[janetmiles.livejournal.com]

I agree with Netdancer and Draxxen: your friends have agreed to help, and are waiting for you to say when.

[gridlore.livejournal.com]

"Hey, remember that stuff I needed your help moving? I'm trying coordinate schedules.. how's Saturday work for you?"

Remind them, and pin them to a time.

[sashajwolf.livejournal.com]

At the very least, you should ask when would be convenient for them. If you take it a step further and suggest a time yourself, it will probably get done faster in the end.