I just don't understand..

[kengr]

How is it that "I need need you to help me with this, let me know when we can do it" gets perceived by some many people as "I'll get hold of you later about this, until I do, don't waorry about it"

Because this seems to be a constant in my life. I need to do something. It requires the involvement of another person. I contact them and tell them to let me know when we can do it (because I have lots of "free" time, but they have a schedule which I don't know anything about). And they never get back to me.

Either it mever gets done, or I have to *nag* them about it (which is a very triggery thing for me).

Please explain how on earth "let me know when" can be interpreted as *anything* but "you figure out when it'll be convenient and get back to me about it"?

Once again I'm getting that "I'm obviously an alien with insufficient training if faking being human".

Comments

[lolleeroberts.livejournal.com]

If I can make a suggestion - figure it out while you have them on the phone. People with busy lives tend to deal with what is right there in front of them. You need something done? Try a variation of this:

"When is a good time this week for you to come over? Friday night? Great. About what time? 7:30? Wonderful. So I'll expect you over here about 7:30 on Friday. Want me to call and jog your memory on Thursday? Sure, no problem. Maybe we can have dinner after. See you Friday at 7:30."

Basically work it out with them WHILE they're on the phone. That way the memory they carry away is "I have to be at kengr's place on Friday." NOT "kengr wants to get together with me sometime to take care of something, but he's not sure when." (Since that is obviously the message they are taking away.)

[kengr]

To me, that's "pushing". And I feel about pushing the way you do about being a "bad customer" (If I'm recalling correctly).

It's also hard to do that when it's email, not phone.

[mazarinade.livejournal.com]

With busy folks - used to be one myself - a lot of the time they're too busy to stop and plan. Yes, that's a bit like being too busy felling trees to stop and sharpen the axe, but there you go. Ask for the help, if it's agreed to be given ask for a free slot then and there. Advice given up-thread is apropos, and it's not pushing, it's helping them plan their schedule.

[iamjw.livejournal.com]

"Let me know when you can do it" reads to me as "No big rush, whenever you're ready, just let me know" which would, for people with busy lives, mean some unpredictable time in the future. I'm with Lollee. Nail them down to a time while you have them with you. If you change the phrasing to "When is good for you?" then it's not nagging so much as being precise.