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Oct. 26th, 2004
Arrrgh! Political teleslime
Oct. 26th, 2004 01:40 pmAllow me to give you a clue oh political message call.
If your call doesn't have caller ID enabled, I'll let the machine get it.
If your call has obviously bogus caller ID (for example: 11111111111111) I'll not only let the machine get it, but I'll make a note of your cause as one to consider voting against.
Recordings that play automatically at my answering machine lose you points. So do ones that can't figure out that they need to hang up *before* the machine starts recording.
Frankly, I'd like to see providing *correct* Caller ID *required*. With substantial penalties for faking it.
And I'd like to be able to "opt out" of political and survey calls as well.
If your call doesn't have caller ID enabled, I'll let the machine get it.
If your call has obviously bogus caller ID (for example: 11111111111111) I'll not only let the machine get it, but I'll make a note of your cause as one to consider voting against.
Recordings that play automatically at my answering machine lose you points. So do ones that can't figure out that they need to hang up *before* the machine starts recording.
Frankly, I'd like to see providing *correct* Caller ID *required*. With substantial penalties for faking it.
And I'd like to be able to "opt out" of political and survey calls as well.
Redneck vasectomy
Oct. 26th, 2004 05:15 pm(From an email)
After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed.
So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive.
"A less costly alternative," said the doctor, "is to go home, get a cherry bomb," (fireworks are legal in Alabama) "light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count 10."
The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me." "Trust me," said the doctor.
So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:
"1"
"2"
"3"
"4"
"5"
At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.
This procedure also works in Tennessee, Indiana, Arkansas, Mississippi, and West Virginia!
After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed.
So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive.
"A less costly alternative," said the doctor, "is to go home, get a cherry bomb," (fireworks are legal in Alabama) "light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count 10."
The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me." "Trust me," said the doctor.
So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:
"1"
"2"
"3"
"4"
"5"
At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.
This procedure also works in Tennessee, Indiana, Arkansas, Mississippi, and West Virginia!