Oregon Forest Gothic
Nov. 12th, 2020 11:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kengr(found on Facebook)
-Moss covers everything. Don’t ask exactly what it covers.
-The Forest Service road is a better road than the highway.
-Be sure to wear orange in the fall. It’s the only way to avoid the hunt.
-Firewood is damp, even in July. There is a burn ban. There has always been a burn ban.
-Yes, something does live under the covered bridge. Leave it a beer now and then and be grateful.
-Sometimes there are bones in the hot springs. Do not disturb them.
-Toes are supposed to have webs, here.
-Careful in the deep silent woods, way up the mountain. Anger the trees and they won’t let you out.
-Aunt Jen says to take a stick when you go outside, in case of turkey attack.
-Everyone knows Bridge of the Gods is a toll bridge. But what is the toll?
-This cabin is an empty vacation rental. All the cabins are vacation rentals. There is no way to rent them.
-Dry shoes are a myth. Try sandals.
-Logging roads run for miles. Is it all the same road? Get down the hill before it snows.
-Those old folks live up the creek by themselves for a reason. You don’t want to meet them.
-You try to dig a boulder out of the yard. It is bigger than your car. Bigger than the house. You can’t stop digging.
-Sasquatch is tired of rescuing hikers.
-There’s a tree across the driveway. There will be a tree across the driveway every weekend. You will need a new chainsaw, again.
-That sound at night. It’s only a cat. We hope.
-Some of the clearcuts are haunted. Watch for the bones. Or are those the stumps?
-The creek is talking to you. Will you be the first one to admit it?
-We don’t go up that valley. Don’t ask why, either.
-The alders multiply if you turn your back.
-Sometimes shapes appear and disappear in the rain. Sometimes you’ll recognize them.
-The sawmill runs all night. You’ll never meet anyone who works there.
-Do not leave the summer camp property. Not that you could.
-The mountain is always watching. Always.
-Moss covers everything. Don’t ask exactly what it covers.
-The Forest Service road is a better road than the highway.
-Be sure to wear orange in the fall. It’s the only way to avoid the hunt.
-Firewood is damp, even in July. There is a burn ban. There has always been a burn ban.
-Yes, something does live under the covered bridge. Leave it a beer now and then and be grateful.
-Sometimes there are bones in the hot springs. Do not disturb them.
-Toes are supposed to have webs, here.
-Careful in the deep silent woods, way up the mountain. Anger the trees and they won’t let you out.
-Aunt Jen says to take a stick when you go outside, in case of turkey attack.
-Everyone knows Bridge of the Gods is a toll bridge. But what is the toll?
-This cabin is an empty vacation rental. All the cabins are vacation rentals. There is no way to rent them.
-Dry shoes are a myth. Try sandals.
-Logging roads run for miles. Is it all the same road? Get down the hill before it snows.
-Those old folks live up the creek by themselves for a reason. You don’t want to meet them.
-You try to dig a boulder out of the yard. It is bigger than your car. Bigger than the house. You can’t stop digging.
-Sasquatch is tired of rescuing hikers.
-There’s a tree across the driveway. There will be a tree across the driveway every weekend. You will need a new chainsaw, again.
-That sound at night. It’s only a cat. We hope.
-Some of the clearcuts are haunted. Watch for the bones. Or are those the stumps?
-The creek is talking to you. Will you be the first one to admit it?
-We don’t go up that valley. Don’t ask why, either.
-The alders multiply if you turn your back.
-Sometimes shapes appear and disappear in the rain. Sometimes you’ll recognize them.
-The sawmill runs all night. You’ll never meet anyone who works there.
-Do not leave the summer camp property. Not that you could.
-The mountain is always watching. Always.
no subject
Date: 2020-11-13 03:06 pm (UTC)Heh. The bit about not angering the trees reminds me of an anecdote from _The Woodwright's Shop_ book. Roy Underhill and his brother went into the woods to harvest a tree which blew over in a storm. Because of heavy underbrush, they set their tool box on the trunk. They first removed the limbs, working from root ball towards the tip. Finishing with the limbs, they began cutting the trunk into workable lengths, working their way back towards the root ball. On the second-last cut, the weight of the root ball flipped the remaining trunk back upright, hurling their tool box into the nearby pond. "It's an eerie feeling, knowing the trees are laughing at you."
Some of the other tales remind me of things from my childhood in the foothills of the Appalachians, in southeastern Kentucky. Other things remind me of family tales. (My maternal grandfather and his brothers worked in lumber. He even got extra gas allowances for his logging trucks in WWII, because wood was important to the war effort. My grandfather had a sawmill which was still operational when I was a kid. Scary place. Noisy, too.)
no subject
Date: 2020-11-15 10:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-11-15 11:14 pm (UTC)Not much and none recently.
no subject
Date: 2020-11-16 12:41 pm (UTC)the John the Balladeer collection is on one of the free Baen CDs, so if you ever want to check it out it's there.
no subject
Date: 2020-11-14 03:15 am (UTC)