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kengrI was reading a rather good rant elsewhere about folks misusing "triggering" and other things as excuses to exclude trans women from women's spaces. And one part struck me as something that *really* needs to get spread around.
That's pretty much it. Triggers can be all sorts of things for folks with PTSD and related problems. And they are *not* merely being uncomfortable or squicked.
For example, a certain tone of voice (which I hear far too often from parents berating their children in something just short of a rage) used to *immediately* put me into full "fight or flight" mode. Or the abuse survivor's third alternative, "freeze and try not to draw the attention of the MAJOR threat to your life/safety.
It still triggers a not good response, but I just go into an adrenaline surge and can usually stop at cringing a bit and restraining myself from the "freeze" response. That's what a few decades of exposure that *doesn't* turn into abuse of other danger will do. And yes, it takes years of "desensitization" to begin to moderate the response.
A single instance where something bad *does* follow the trigger can wipe that out.
Another, rather more complex trigger for me is "people having authority over e making a decision that could go really badly for me.
I get this one several times a year when they do things like the annual apartment inspection (there are at least two, because one is the outfit that owns the building and the other is HUD or some such).
It's triggering because I *could* get evicted if I failed badly. Given that some of the folks who do the inspection are the sort how believe in the de-cluttering BS such as "If you haven't used it in six months, you should get rid of it" I'm just about guaranteed to get hassled. (That "rule" from those shows is so stupid. What about seasonal items? What about items that you *will* need occasionally and, being poor, you can't *afford* to go out and buy new ones when you need them again, etc.
So it's not uncommon for me to have a slow-building panic attack on the days leading up top the inspection. At least once I had chest pains (which whatever they were, were apparently not a heart attack as I've tests more recently that show my heart is in good shape).
Anyway, if you *don't* have PTSD, *don't* talk about things being "triggering". Also, realize that because triggers for different people are so varied, you *cannot* make any pace trigger free. *At best* you can try to warn folks you know about things that might trigger *them* based on what *they* have told you.
For anyone who is interested, the link to the original article is below the cut
http://thepeacockangel.tumblr.com/post/2975439674/on-the-argument-that-trans-women-are-triggering
I hear a lot of people throwing the word “triggering” around who don’t seem to understand what it means. Being “triggered” does not mean “feeling kind of freaked out” or “being squicked” or “being reminded of something unpleasant or painful.” When I say I am triggered I mean I am in a physical state of panic when the adrenaline really gets going, my heart is racing, and my reptile brain genuinely thinks I AM GOING TO DIE.
Is that REALLY what you mean?
That's pretty much it. Triggers can be all sorts of things for folks with PTSD and related problems. And they are *not* merely being uncomfortable or squicked.
For example, a certain tone of voice (which I hear far too often from parents berating their children in something just short of a rage) used to *immediately* put me into full "fight or flight" mode. Or the abuse survivor's third alternative, "freeze and try not to draw the attention of the MAJOR threat to your life/safety.
It still triggers a not good response, but I just go into an adrenaline surge and can usually stop at cringing a bit and restraining myself from the "freeze" response. That's what a few decades of exposure that *doesn't* turn into abuse of other danger will do. And yes, it takes years of "desensitization" to begin to moderate the response.
A single instance where something bad *does* follow the trigger can wipe that out.
Another, rather more complex trigger for me is "people having authority over e making a decision that could go really badly for me.
I get this one several times a year when they do things like the annual apartment inspection (there are at least two, because one is the outfit that owns the building and the other is HUD or some such).
It's triggering because I *could* get evicted if I failed badly. Given that some of the folks who do the inspection are the sort how believe in the de-cluttering BS such as "If you haven't used it in six months, you should get rid of it" I'm just about guaranteed to get hassled. (That "rule" from those shows is so stupid. What about seasonal items? What about items that you *will* need occasionally and, being poor, you can't *afford* to go out and buy new ones when you need them again, etc.
So it's not uncommon for me to have a slow-building panic attack on the days leading up top the inspection. At least once I had chest pains (which whatever they were, were apparently not a heart attack as I've tests more recently that show my heart is in good shape).
Anyway, if you *don't* have PTSD, *don't* talk about things being "triggering". Also, realize that because triggers for different people are so varied, you *cannot* make any pace trigger free. *At best* you can try to warn folks you know about things that might trigger *them* based on what *they* have told you.
For anyone who is interested, the link to the original article is below the cut
http://thepeacockangel.tumblr.com/post/2975439674/on-the-argument-that-trans-women-are-triggering
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no subject
Date: 2014-12-17 04:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-12-18 04:56 pm (UTC)Also, using something briefly then chucking it, then buying a new one the next year is just... _wasteful_.
no subject
Date: 2014-12-18 07:34 pm (UTC)Freaked out? Squicky?
Also, using something briefly then chucking it, then buying a new one the next year is just... _wasteful_.
<sarcasm>Oh, but we are all well able to afford to do that. And we *must* consume to keep the economy flowing...</sarcasm>
There's a difference between "hoarding" and things like holding onto the old *working* computers because I can;'t afford to repair one that goes down (at least not immediately).
Though when I get far enough down the list, the really old ones in my storage locker need to get reduced to parts and e-bayed.
And, of course, why would I need all those *books*. Can't I just go to the library?
Sorry, the library doesn't *have* most of those. They weren't popular enough and have thus been removed from circulation. (*cringe*). Even if they have them *now*, the odds are low that they'll have them next year.
Plus, I sometimes take a while to read things (I read fast, but I often am busy with enough things that it can take a while to get thru a book). Back when I still had a library card I'd rack up fines a bit too often.
I had to explain that I wasn't hoarding can lids either. Because of bug problem in the past, I wash cans (and lids) before they go into the recycling bin in the kitchen. The lids go into one of two cans on top of the microwave. One for "standard" size cans (think Nalley's chili or olives). The other for larger cans.
When they get mostly full, I crimp over the edges and toss them in the bin. That way there aren't sharp edged lids floating around in the recycling.
It's a combo of safety, and minimizing trips down to the dumpster & recycling bins.