Childhood sucks..

[kengr]

Lincoln High School in Walla Walla, WA, tries new approach to school discipline — suspensions drop 85%

Check the stuff about ACEs. It's *way* too familiar to me, and I suspect to many of you.

I scored a 3 on their shortened version of the ACE survey. I rather expect I might score higher on the full version.

I could *so* have used a school like that back when I was in high school.

Comments

[seawasp]

The shortened version refers to childhood experiences all as though it's just family. All MY bad childhood experiences involved people NOT in my family.

[fayanora.livejournal.com]

Aye. I got along great with my folks, still do. Home was my safe place. All the abuse I got was from other kids. And it was at least as damaging to me as I imagine parental abuse to be.

[seawasp]

I wouldn't go that far. If you have a home/family you can count on to support -- or even simply not to harm -- you, you know that at the end of the day you go somewhere safe. If home's where the danger is, then school is AT BEST a temporary respite --and at worst, it's just another place where you get abused.

No, I think home abuse is clearly worse overall.

[fayanora.livejournal.com]

Good point. When you put it that way, I agree.

[kengr]

and if you are getting it at school, and don't dare open up about it at home (because you are afraid of parental reactions) it *is* worse than either alone.

[scott-sanford.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that.

I noticed way back in junior high that my school had a very strictly followed script for meeting families: Everyone is sat down in a room away from witnesses, the parent[s] presents their side of the story, the school person tells the kid what they just heard from the parent, and everyone makes sure all the adults agree and hold the same views; then the kid is asked if they have anything to "say" about it. Any deviation made all adults present scared and angry.

And my mother was a social worker; God only knows what they get away with talking to carpenters or dentists.

[kengr]

Ewww.

Back in my day they rarely had such meetings, at least not with the kids present.

And just a note, even now there are times on the bus when the *tone* a parent uses with a kids makes me want to cringe. It's obviously anger speaking.

[scott-sanford.livejournal.com]

Looking back, I think the theory was to provide a united and consistent front to the children (so as not to confuse them, to pretend adults do not bicker over petty details, or whatever). Actually, I hope there was that explicit plan; at the time it just looked like incompetence and disinterest in the children, and I've seen nothing to disprove that. Or it might have been more trouble than it was worth to try to fight a parent who didn't want to hear other peoples' opinions.

But darned if I know how they planned to deal with problems caused by dysfunctional families or troublesome parents. The school system didn't seem to have any backup plans if yelling at the kid didn't work.

[kengr]

Yeah, I noticed that. My mom was a big problem but other kids were a problem too.

On the longer form of the survey (accessible if you dig thru the links), they also have a section about domestic violence, but it is all "father mistreating mother". No consideration of same sex parents, no consideration that sometimes it's the husband who is being abused by the wife.

Likewise, they don't seem to consider that "male" and "female" aren't the only possibilities *especially* for kids these days.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

[kengr]

at least it recognizes that emotional abuse is just as bad as physical or sexual.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]