Arrrggghhh!

[kengr]

Just fucking fuck me, already

This annoys the hell out of me.

At first I was somewhat sympathetic, then I started seeing red as it became clear that she didn't just want the guys to be a bit more assertive, but that she had this huge stereotype where men took all the risks and put forth most of the effort. And that if a man didn't feel comfortable doing that he wasn't a man.

Grrr.

Comments

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

[sashajwolf.livejournal.com]

I had similarly mixed reactions. I do sometimes get a vibe that it's not okay for men to do traditional masculine stuff and not okay for women to enjoy that, and that annoys me, because as long as we're both happy and consenting, it's no-one else's business. That doesn't mean we should go back to pressurising all men to behave like that all the time, though. She's a bit too judgemental and bordering on one-true-wayist for me. I think my sexual preferences are quite close to hers (minus the dirty talk), but I'm not at all convinced that we're in the majority. Being at the subby end of the spectrum even during "vanilla" sex, I do prefer my part to be more about responding to what the other person is doing than about taking the initiative, and fortunately there are guys who are happy with that because they get off on watching my responses, but it's as unfair to assume that all guys like that as it is to assume that all women like it gentle all the time. And it makes sense to me that guys would err on the side of caution and taking it slow with women they don't know very well, precisely because not all women are good at clearly asserting their boundaries, as she points out in her last paragraph.