Gender questions

[kengr]

Over in genderqueer someone asked "gender: what does it matter? the gender you're seen as or treated as--what difference does it make?"

My response:

I think you've got the question backwards.

The problem is how you are treated based on the gender you present.

Boys who do "girly" things get a *lot* of abuse from their peers and from many adults. Tomboys get looked down on, though not as bad.

Teens and later if you've not learned to conform to "proper" gender behavior it tends to get a lot worse unless you are one of the lucky few who are in an environment that supports you acting the way that feels right.

As adults, if you can "pass" as your preferred gender, thing aren't too bad except for the worry about reactions when someone finds out that you aren't what they thought.

If you can't pass well the *best* you can hope for is "whispered" comments behind your back. The worst is getting killed.

Comments

[ebonhost.livejournal.com]

Actually, it has nothing to do with how I'm treated, for me. I -am- a 'girly' boy, and something of a Queen. I'd rather people were able to acknowledge that I am, in fact, a man, instead of looking at the boobs and saying 'oh, woman'. It's about as equivalent for me as when I went to Europe, and made sure it was known I was Canadian, not American. It has nothing to do with other peoples' behaviours or attitudes. I dislike the falseness of what's on the outside being completely wrong.

[kengr]

Well, I think part of it is stuff like at this link

Gender identity, sex, sexual orientation ... I really don't get the difference here.

For *me* it'd be:
Sex: most of the way over to male
Gender Identity: somewhere in the middle
Gender Expression: If I hadn't had so much trouble over the years, it'd be well to the feminine side of the scale.
Sexual orientation: over toward the "attracted to males side.

I expect your answers are way different, especially on the first two. Which is why our takes on the situation are different.

[ebonhost.livejournal.com]

*nods* All right, I follow you there. So for you, the question seems backwards, while for me, it's almost insulting in the idea of 'why does it matter if people think I'm a woman?' deal. (It matters because I'm -not-.)

Though on that scale, I would roughly be:
Sex: female
Gender Identity: between third gender and man, leaning more towards man
Gender Expression: slightly on the feminine side of androgynous
Sexual Orientation: pansexual

So I realize my way of expressing myself in behaviour and my identity are vastly different. *grins* Of course, I hate the entire binary gender system, but I'm not going to get started on that rant. ;)