kengr

Hey, Chrissy!

The No-Hassle Day Planner for the Clinically Insane by MilesToGo13
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This morning, you should...	go to your local breakfast diner, pour coffee on your waitress, do three cups of creamer as shots, and run screaming from the building.
Then, after lunch...	superglue your neighbor's cat to his head and sell tickets to passerby to come witness "The Living Toupee".
Dinner will consist of...	a random tourist you happened to run down with your car.
Afterwards, you set off into the evening to...	scream at random people that the sky is falling, shortly before you hit them over the head with a mallet.
At the height of your madness, you will call	mistresscayenne
And the two of you will proceed to...	do dozens of shots of that thick blue liquid usually used to clean combs, then spend the rest of the night alternating between vomiting and talking about how much you love each other.

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