Julie Andrews joke

[kengr]

(swiped from a mailing list I'm on)
(Edit: No it didn't really happen. That's why it says *joke* in the title)

To commemorate her 69th birthday on October 1, actress/vocalist Julie
Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan's Radio City Music Hall for
the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was "My
Favourite Things" from the legendary movie "Sound Of Music." However, the
lyrics of the song were deliberately changed for the entertainment for her
"blue hair" audience. Here are the lyrics she recited:

================
Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines - tied up in string,
These are a few of my favourite things.
Cadillacs, cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favourite things.

When the pipes leak,When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favourite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets, and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heat pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favourite things.
Back pains, confused brains, and no fear of sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favourite things.

When the joints ache,When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the
crowd that lasted over four minutes and repeated encores.

Comments

[janetmiles.livejournal.com]

Except, sadly, she didn't (see Snopes).