Clarification of Washington State Porn tax

(reply by Thomas Mckenzie to a post by Darklady on an email list)

Ms. Lady -

I have been contracted by the State of Washington to clarify any
issues regarding our proposed tax on porn. There is much
misinformation right now, and we want the record clear.

To begin with, this is called the B.U.T.T. Act WRS02-30-09-01 and
has the following highlights -

1) Porn will be taxed on a sliding scale based on type and frequency
of sexually charged words and sex acts, whether imagined or depicted.

2) Sexual aids, or so-called "toys", will be taxed based on length
and overall appearance. The more convincing the higher the tax.

3) Sex shops would be required to charge an admission which would be
collected by the new State Agency based on the quality and location
of the shop.

4) Because this is totally new ground for the State there will be
some very innovative programs.

Video pornography, for example, will be rated and taxed based on a
number of factors, one of which will be the actual actors. Some
examples - If the porn includes

Nichole Sheriden - 5% tax.
Beverly Lynn - 10% tax
Rebecca Love - 40% tax
Jezebel Bond - 180% tax
Chloe Nichole (pre 2008) - 150% tax
Chole Nichole (post 2008) - We rebate you 10%
Misty Mundae - 120%

More to come as time allows.

Arlen Spinkter
Washington Department of Revenue

WASHINGTON SEX TAXES

(another reply by Thomas Mckenzie to a post by Darklady on an email list)

Ms. Lady

I have read, with some interest, about the proposed taxes on porn
in Washington State. While these proposals will help, we in Oregon
think that, as usual, our state to the north is not fully getting it.

Our President Obama is leading the way towards a new era in
Statecraft. Since Oregon has always prided itself in being first in
the nation we anticipate where the new era is going. Oregons plans
are much more comprehensive and much more is keeping with our
Presidents goals.

First we are creating a new state level department. This is
important for two reasons - One is that, as you will see, this
program itself will be quite complex and will require many new state
employees. 2) We are expected to create jobs and the complexity of
this program will assure at least 10,000 new jobs initially.

Although all aspects of this new plan are yet to come forward I
am at liberty to give you a few examples.

1) State Goal #1 - Orgasms. If we can't tax orgasms then we will
really miss the boat. Because males usually only have one a day the
tax rate here will be about 40.00 per orgasm. Women are a different
matter. Dry orgasms will be $10.00, with gushers $20.00. Multiple
orgasms will receive a 15% discount overall upon verifiable proof.

But simply taxing is so 20th century. In keeping with our Presidents
goals we are going further. We know that some women have multiple wet
orgasms and some have none at all. This goes to an issue of basic
fairness that government must address.

Although the technology of "orgasm transfer" is not yet here (owing
to the oppressive and niggardly last 8 years of Bush) we believe that
the ability to take an orgasm from a woman who has many and give to a
woman who has few is nothing but as close as the money we can
dedicate.

In the meantime women will be allowed up to 2 orgasms a day. Anything
in excess of that will be charged at a double rate up to 15. At 15
the rate will triple. A woman who has more than 20 in a day or more
than 12 in less than a one hour interval will not only be taxed at 4
times the individual rate, but will be publicly humiliated for her
reactionary selfishness. We call this last component of the proposed
law the Thomas McKenzie provision.

While these taxes will not presently change the basic inequity in
female orgasms they will provide much need stimulous money. Some in
the State legislature have argued that a woman being taxed in this
manner might be put off having orgasms at all. That, of course, is
just talk radio reactionism. Enlightened Oregonians know better.

But what about the men? Well this one is easier. Of course we're
speaking of the Penis Tax. More on that later.

Samual Adumbs
Oregon Department of Sex