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Why we mess each other up
Aug. 7th, 2005 04:18 pmI think a lot of problems are caused by two factors:
1. The assumption that we (i.e. the individual thinking of himself) are more or less average, and that therefore our abilities and vulnerabilities are the same as other people's. With the corollary that anybody who is more vulnerable to something or less able musty have something wrong with them (or even just be "just not trying hard enough").
2. The idea that good intentions can't cause harm.
#1 is responsible for everything from the PE being hell for weaker kids to a lot of "it's just teasing" type bullying.
#2 is why so many people will fight to avoid admitting that their actions taken with the best of intentions resulted in serious emotional damage to someone. They don't try that as often with physical damage because that can be seen. So it's hard to argue that there wasn't really any damage.
1. The assumption that we (i.e. the individual thinking of himself) are more or less average, and that therefore our abilities and vulnerabilities are the same as other people's. With the corollary that anybody who is more vulnerable to something or less able musty have something wrong with them (or even just be "just not trying hard enough").
2. The idea that good intentions can't cause harm.
#1 is responsible for everything from the PE being hell for weaker kids to a lot of "it's just teasing" type bullying.
#2 is why so many people will fight to avoid admitting that their actions taken with the best of intentions resulted in serious emotional damage to someone. They don't try that as often with physical damage because that can be seen. So it's hard to argue that there wasn't really any damage.
