(no subject)

(Swiped from griffen)

( A mother's letter )

The letter resonates strongly with me. I'm not a parent, and likely never will be. But I have some idea of what her son went thru. I got teased for doing things like a girl when I started first grade. Due to undiagnosed asthma, I couldn't keep up with the other boys, and I had little experience with the various games. I couldn't fight worth a damn either (and I got in trouble both at school and at home when I tried to defend myself).

So while the details are different, much of the abuse was the same. I too considered suicide. But I never got to the point of writing a note. Partly because one of the reasons I was considering it was that I didn't think anyone gave a damn about me. So who would I leave it *for*?

This unthinking abuse of people for being different is one of the major flaws of our culture. And that we allow it in children, nay, that we *encourage* it... words fail.

And since school shootings drew attention that teen suicide rates had failed to, to find that a common (if not the *most* common) response was to blame the kids who were different for attracting the abuse!!!

Let's just say that there have been times *I* wanted to go on a shooting spree, starting with school administrators who think that way and then spreading out to others who cannot *allow* others to be different.

I know, that wouldn't solve things, and would only confirm others in their beliefs that being different is *inherently* wrong.

I wish we could enshrine a few basic principles in law...

Personal behavior that causes no physical harm to others *without their consent* is legal. Exceptions *may* be allowed for behavior that poses a large risk to others, such as manufacturing or using dangerous chemicals in residential areas, speeding, etc.[1]

Personal behavior that causes emotional harm needs to be dealt with, but I'm open to suggestions, given that a common argument of some of the folks we need protection from is that our actions "harm" them emotionally or "spiritually". (see the arguments against gay marriage).

First problem is stuff like bullying and "picking on" people. That definitely causes emotional harm. We can probably cover it as being targeted, and *intended* to cause negative emotional effects.

Hate crimes/hate speech probably fall under this, though we'd have to watch out to avoid "targeting" becoming so loose that it could be abused.

Stuff that is targeted and isn't "intended" to cause the negative effects is more problematic. A lot of emotional abuse of children and adults works that way. In some cases the abuser is even *trying* to do something positive, it's just that their approach, combined with the personality of the target creates effects not intended.

Then we get to the stuff that shouldn't be forbidden. Stuff like the arguments that gay marriage damages straight marriages.

[1] I'm quite aware that this would (to take an extreme example) allow things like human sacrifice, if you could find a person who would consent to being sacrificed. Other than finding a way to make sure that the person is capable of consenting, what's the problem?