gaming silliness

[kengr]

This is what happens when my brain free associates.

I have to present this more or less in order for full impact.

First, we've all heard of pink slime (yuck) the stuck they make out of ;eftover bits of alleged meat.

Second, D&D has a monster called green slime.

Third, most gaming depictions of orcs make them green.

So... Is green slime what left over after a evil mage/cleric is done harvesting the "useful" parts of orcs?

Another unrelated set of thoughts was triggered by one of those "player in VR game suddenly winds up in another world" stories.

In this case one her her first, "this isn't a game anymore" moments was when she needed to pee.,.. bodily functions not being something that games worry about much.

That got me wondering what rules for that sort of thing would look like.,

Then I realized that would open a can of worms most players would want no part of given the number of evil GMs out there. Just think of the monsters and traps that might be triggered by urination or defecation!

Cindiru fish might seem trivial in comparision

Comments

[siliconshaman]

Well, this evil DM is already ahead of you on that... I had a mimic outhouse in my game. It didn't eat the players, it was a detritus feeder... just don't ask where it's long, long tongue went.

[kengr]

I can guess.

In a campaign I was in our castle's garderobe pits had green slime in the bottom. When it got too deep, whoever was unfortunate enough to have the duty would dip out a bucketful, then toss in a torch to burn out the rest.

I *think* we cleaned out the ash that was left behind (because it was good fertilizer?). Then the saved bucket of slime was dumped into the now clean pit to serve as a "starter".

but nothing beats the orcs in a pair of kindle books I read. Seems they had a penchant for raping any large enough critter they caught. In all available orifices.

Turns out that the female orcs were externally indistinguishable from the males. They had an ovipositor instead of a penis. Think frog spawn, if you've ever seen that.

Anyway the sperm fertilized the eggs inside the victim. Which when they hatched started eating each other until only a few were left. They proceeded to starting eat victim from the inside out. They avoided critical systems until the end.

When they got to that point, they'd eat their way out. And if the victim had crawled off to die, they'd finish the carcass. then either try to eat each other of run off. Very survival of the fittest. Ick.

Anyway the characters in the story had been teleported there from earth. So the first human victim had folks around trying to assist with what they thought was a pregnancy gone wrong...

Obviously "constructed" creatures. By someone with a really sick turn of mind. But while I can't see them evolving naturally, otherwise the biology works. The ability to not screw up vital organs is probably magical, but could be something else.

Altogether a nasty, but plausible monster.