Hmmm

[kengr]

The last few days I've been pondering something. Namely, what sort of *serious* answer to give Ethan the next time he asks Brooke why she's wearing a dress/wig/whatever. (note: the preceding is in third person best that's the easiest way to handle this in English, not because "Brooke" is a separate part of me)

Anyway. He's only 11, and I'm not entirely sure what approach to take.

What with the bad weather locally, I've been able to put it off some, but I am going to be visiting them again.

In other news, I'm wearing my bras most of the time now. I just decided that even if I wasn't wearing forms, it'd be another thing I could do.

After I see what taxes do to my money situation, I'll have to see whether or not I am going to do something about electrolysis on my face. I really *do* want to not have to shave if only because it'll cut down the amount of "extra" effort it'll take Brooke to go anywhere.

And before anybody asks, if I try shaving more often than every couple of days I almost always turn my face into hamburger. Even with fresh blades.

Comments

[gentlemaitresse.livejournal.com]

Namely, what sort of *serious* answer to give Ethan the next time he asks Brooke why she's wearing a dress/wig/whatever.

Have you discussed this with his parents?

[kengr]

Not exactly.

We've discussed a lot of gender stuff for various reasons before I "came out" to them.

Thing is, he's *got* an aunt that used to be an uncle, but my situation is a bit more complicated.

I probably do need to talk to them more, but I'm also kinda trying to figure out exactly how to get across the idea of my situation.

I'm *not* TS. And I'm not really a TV either.

I just want to be a "girl/woman" more in the sense of the social role than any body issues.

So it's not anything that's apt to stray into "touchy" areas. Just stuff that might be a bit complex.

[gentlemaitresse.livejournal.com]

Sexuality is always more complex than "the penis goes into the vagina, ejaculates semen, sperm connects with egg and creates a baby". That's the basics, but it's been my experience that human sexuality is extremely complex. How do we end up with all these crazy (but wonderful) things all mixed up with that seemingly simple biological act?

Maybe you could explain it to an 11 year old without the sexuality, though? Could you simply tell him that you enjoy dressing up and acting feminine? It's like a make-believe game, or maybe it's just the thrill of acting. :-)

Or maybe I just have no clue. I'll be very interested to hear more about this. I've wondered how and when to explain some of these things to my own children.

[kengr]

Well, that's the thing. There is no "sexuality" involved with it.

I'm bisexual, but that has nothing to do with this. I don't get any more of a "charge" out of being Brooke than I do out of being Leonard. Though it's far easy to find "sexy" stuff for Brooke to wear.

It's just that in a *lot* of stuff I'm more comfortable being/acting what society considers to be "female". And if I have to look the part to avoid hassles, that's a price I'll pay.

So my "explanation" to him is apt to be more along the lines of differences in the way boys and girls are expected to *act*. And how I'm a lot more comfortable being a "girl" than a "boy" much of the time.

[kshandra]

Damn. I wish I could put you in touch with PG Cwick, who moderated a couple of fabulous panels on "The Costuming Aspects of Cross-Dressing" locally in the early-to-mid 90s. It wasn't about sex or sexuality for hir, either. Sie described hirself as having a great deal of respect for the power of women, and felt sie was best able to emulate that by dressing as one.

I googled for hir, but hir Yahoo profile doesn't make any reference to hir dressing, and I haven't seen hir at a con in years so I doubt sie'd remember me at this point.

[gridlore.livejournal.com]

"I'm happier this way."

At 11, that's probably going to be the only answer he'll really get.

[siegeengine.livejournal.com]

Have you tried a really good electric razor??

I shaved my arms almost daily with one and they were perfectly baby smooth, but when I forgot it, I shaved them with a spare razor (still new) and now my arms look like hamburger... as you said.

Oh, and I use it on my face with zero problems, while razors always leave me with problems.

Oh, and hi.
followed you here from griffen's journal.

hope ye don't mind. ;)

[kengr]

I am looking into an electric. At least in part after a *very* close closeup someone did of a rather tender portion of her anatomy in her LJ. If you can't see the stubble in that pic, I figured what she was using (Remington 3000) might solve a number of my problems.

Eventually, I'll probably go for electrolysis and/or laser on my face. And possibly on other parts of my body. Say, hands and a few other places that are a pain to deal with.

In the meantime, Nair works well on much of my bod. Though since there's *no* way I can do a decent job on my back regardless, I'm going to have to look into making an appointment for a body wax. I had it done once before by an acuaintance who was a beautician. It was free as it was part of a rather interesting "scene" at a private party she invited me to. :-)

Anyway, I know it'll hurt, but not unbearably. And waxing lasts a lot longer than shaving or Nair.

As for following me from Griffen's LJ, no I don't mind.

Just be prepared for weirdness. Though the weirdest stuff is filtered.

[siegeengine.livejournal.com]

wax... *cries*
I tried that at home.
the scars healed... eventually.

I'm currently experimenting with a home electrolysis machine that I got for Christmas. I think it cost about $35. So far, though, all I've managed to do is shock myself several times.

I managed to hold it in the right place and shock myself for the recommended 20 seconds, but the hair didn't slip out like it was supposed to. *cries more*

Oh well... if at first you don't succeed...
;)

[kengr]

Well, waxing using a "cold" wax isn't going to scar. and it's a lot easier having someone else doing it. For one, they won't hesitate or stop part way thru pulling a strip off.

As for electrolysis, that's *definitely someone you should have a pro do.

[siegeengine.livejournal.com]

hm. I have someone on my list, though, who electolysizes himself constantly while online.

I guess I want to at least give it a shot before barring it from the list of possibilities. So far, I haven't scarred anything, but if I do I'll certainly stop.

[siegeengine.livejournal.com]

Oh, and...

I'm all about weirdness. ;)
*hugs*

[kengr]

Well, I've got a filter for "kink" (mostly scene reports and the occasional fantasy or TMI regarding my sexuality or BDSM).

I've also got an "erotica" filter, which is strictly for fiction. I made it seperate because the two biggest "works in progress involve underage characters which makes some folks very uncomfortable, even if they are doing stuff with each other.

And I've got one I haven't used much that's for posts abuse the stuff I went thru growing up. It's labelled "abuse" which should give you a clue.

[siegeengine.livejournal.com]

I didn't know you wrote. That sounds cool.
I wouldn't mind being on any of those filters.

Did you notice you had a little bit of a freudian slip in the second to the last sentence there?

Oh and... I don't tend to filter things, except to certain people. If it's something odd, though, I'll lj-cut it and label the cut so that people don't have to read anything they don't want to.

*hugs*

[kengr]

You are on the filters. And that wasn't a freudian slip, it was a type of typo I make far too often. I'll type a "similar" word that goes later in the sentence paragraph instead of the word that should be there.

[siegeengine.livejournal.com]

Oh, sorry. I have a similar thing where I'll start writing the next word that I'm thinking of even when I haven't finished writing the last.

[kengr]

No need to apologize. It certainly *looks* fruedian!