Susan Rice
Dec. 3rd, 2025 12:00 am![[syndicated profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/feed.png){kind=small}
quoteoftheday_feed"Once you've learned to study in a bathing suit on the grass with muscled men throwing frisbees over your head, you can accomplish almost anything."
quoteoftheday_feed
Ellen Goodman
Dec. 3rd, 2025 12:00 amquoteoftheday_feed"In journalism, there has always been a tension between getting it first and getting it right."
Michel de Montaigne
Dec. 3rd, 2025 12:00 amquoteoftheday_feed"No man is exempt from saying silly things; the mischief is to say them deliberately."
Charles M. Schulz
Dec. 3rd, 2025 12:00 amquoteoftheday_feed"I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time."
D.O.P.-T.
Dec. 2nd, 2025 11:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
weofodthignenXmas is definitely going to be the big holiday for house decorations this year. Already house after house is sprouting lights, candy canes, even inflatables. I'm glad of the enthusiasm, so long as it isn't too Xian. But I fear one reason I'm seeing it more this year is there are fewer Hindus. There wasn't as much for Diwali this year. I'm glad the scattering of sub-continent-looking guys that I regularly run into on walks are still here. Unless of course they work somewhere evil like Google.
Four letters to Carolyn, with no particular theme
Dec. 3rd, 2025 01:18 amconuly posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
agonyaunt1. Dear Carolyn: My fiancé and I got engaged on Jan. 1, 2024 — so, almost two years ago — and then my sister and her fiancé got engaged this past summer. For a whole host of reasons, my fiancé and I have not gotten far at all in the wedding planning, but my sister and hers set a date and booked a venue pretty quickly — for the first weekend in July.
Recently, my fiancé sighted a local, family-owned venue and has started saying he wants to get married there in mid-June, around our anniversary and after school lets out because there are kids in our families we want to be there. If we did that, then it would be back-to-back weddings, which I — I cannot stress this enough — do NOT think is a great idea.
My sister and I have very overlapping guest lists, for one thing. Plus, I will be in her wedding (and hopefully she in mine), and I think we would each like to be able to focus on that without worrying about the details of another big event around the same time. Also, we are from a close family, and it just feels like squeezing too much juice out of one summer. Our mom is not super healthy, and I know she wants to be there for both of us.
I would strongly prefer to postpone our wedding until perhaps next spring, and honestly since we (especially my fiancé) have dragged our feet this much so far, there doesn’t feel like much of a hurry anymore. My fiancé is upset by this and says it feels like I’m letting my sister delay our marriage. Am I being obtuse by thinking we should get married a few months later than he wants to? We have been together for almost eight years, if it matters!
— Sister
( Read more... )
********
2. Dear Carolyn: How do you navigate co-parenting a teen who is wicked smart but seemingly without motivation? My 17-year-old junior signed up for four AP classes this year, even after a good conversation about the amount of work they are and his not-great track record of turning in schoolwork. He thought he could handle it.
Here we are at the second quarter, and lo and behold, he’s struggling to keep up. I’m not in I-told-you-so mode, I promise! I am trying to be collaborative, asking how we can handle things here at my house to make it easier for him to focus (should probably mention ADHD). Those conversations always feel productive in terms of treating each other with respect, but … less effective at actually getting work done.
I am solidly of the opinion that, within reason, he should reap both the rewards AND the consequences of his decisions, and if an F is the consequence of not doing the work, well. His dad is much more aggressive at his house, and frequently my son comes back to me after a row with his dad over his lackluster performance.
Dad and I manage decently well at co-parenting except for this one area. I feel like Dad is worried more how all this reflects on HIM and not as interested in who his child really is. I can relate to my kid’s struggles, having had similar problems — and also possibly being neurodivergent, too — but Dad thinks if he just lectures enough, it will finally sink in.
My son can completely articulate what will happen if he fails a class and what will happen to his college and job prospects if his GPA tanks. What’s the point of repeating it ad nauseam? I am also trying to be a safe place, but his dad thinks I’m doing absolutely nothing. I’m fine telling Dad to stuff it about the “nothing” I’m doing, because I’ve been advocating hard for my kid since kindergarten — but any thoughts on navigating this? I use what few levers I have to encourage getting the work done, but he’s 17, and I can’t exactly tie him to a chair.
— Co-Parent of an Unmotivated Teen
( Read more... )
*********
3. Dear Carolyn: I have always found the holidays to be a massive pain in the neck, and I have little interest in participating. This is not a new thing; I’m 30, and I’ve always felt that way. Like Scrooge, I’ve always been happy to let others keep Christmas in their way and for me to not keep it in mine.
Two years ago, I was married. Our engagement happened over a Christmas season, so my wife was well aware before she married me that I’m not the Christmas type.
Well, you guessed it, she is insistent that I help pick out and decorate a tree, put up Christmas decorations, attend holiday events, and buy a bunch of Christmas gifts. I’ve told her point-blank that I will not do it. I’ve told her SHE is welcome to buy and decorate as many trees as she wants, but I’m not helping with it. This has led to a couple of arguments, tears and claims that I’m selfish. She’s not speaking to me after I told her yesterday that I wasn’t planning to be home for the big party she’s planning to throw.
To me, Christmas is like religion: Practice it if you want, but don’t nag other people to practice it with you, and don’t try to change people who are (or were) happy with their lives as they are. So who’s right here?
— Scrooge
( Read more... )
***********
4. Dear Carolyn: Two years ago, my in-laws asked me and my husband if we wanted them to help us buy a house. They had asked before and we said no, but at this point we were ready to start building community roots, so we said yes please. With their help, we bought a house we love(d), a cozy four-bedroom house in a progressive suburb.
On a visit a few months later, my mother-in-law tutted over the two bedrooms we turned into our offices, commenting that “it will be hard to repurpose these for babies when it’s time.” At no point have we ever indicated that we plan to have children, and in fact we do not plan to, which we had to tell her then.
Carolyn, she was so upset that it was shocking. Though my father-in-law helped defuse, she bawled violently at this news and informed us that she felt like she had bought us a house under false pretenses. She eventually collected herself but was subdued for the rest of the planned visit, another day and a half.
It has been about 18 months since then, and our relationship is now chilly. I feel uncomfortable inviting them to our home because now I feel like they think we don’t deserve it. I find it hurtful to know they wanted us to have a nice house not so that we could enjoy our own lives, but to enrich their grandchildren. And at some level, I feel like we stole from them, even though it’s ridiculous.
Every week, I tell my husband I think we should sell the house, give them some of the proceeds and go back to apartment living. He says I’m nuts and to ignore his mom’s dramatics. But did we do something wrong here?
— Hurt
( Read more... )
Recently, my fiancé sighted a local, family-owned venue and has started saying he wants to get married there in mid-June, around our anniversary and after school lets out because there are kids in our families we want to be there. If we did that, then it would be back-to-back weddings, which I — I cannot stress this enough — do NOT think is a great idea.
My sister and I have very overlapping guest lists, for one thing. Plus, I will be in her wedding (and hopefully she in mine), and I think we would each like to be able to focus on that without worrying about the details of another big event around the same time. Also, we are from a close family, and it just feels like squeezing too much juice out of one summer. Our mom is not super healthy, and I know she wants to be there for both of us.
I would strongly prefer to postpone our wedding until perhaps next spring, and honestly since we (especially my fiancé) have dragged our feet this much so far, there doesn’t feel like much of a hurry anymore. My fiancé is upset by this and says it feels like I’m letting my sister delay our marriage. Am I being obtuse by thinking we should get married a few months later than he wants to? We have been together for almost eight years, if it matters!
— Sister
( Read more... )
2. Dear Carolyn: How do you navigate co-parenting a teen who is wicked smart but seemingly without motivation? My 17-year-old junior signed up for four AP classes this year, even after a good conversation about the amount of work they are and his not-great track record of turning in schoolwork. He thought he could handle it.
Here we are at the second quarter, and lo and behold, he’s struggling to keep up. I’m not in I-told-you-so mode, I promise! I am trying to be collaborative, asking how we can handle things here at my house to make it easier for him to focus (should probably mention ADHD). Those conversations always feel productive in terms of treating each other with respect, but … less effective at actually getting work done.
I am solidly of the opinion that, within reason, he should reap both the rewards AND the consequences of his decisions, and if an F is the consequence of not doing the work, well. His dad is much more aggressive at his house, and frequently my son comes back to me after a row with his dad over his lackluster performance.
Dad and I manage decently well at co-parenting except for this one area. I feel like Dad is worried more how all this reflects on HIM and not as interested in who his child really is. I can relate to my kid’s struggles, having had similar problems — and also possibly being neurodivergent, too — but Dad thinks if he just lectures enough, it will finally sink in.
My son can completely articulate what will happen if he fails a class and what will happen to his college and job prospects if his GPA tanks. What’s the point of repeating it ad nauseam? I am also trying to be a safe place, but his dad thinks I’m doing absolutely nothing. I’m fine telling Dad to stuff it about the “nothing” I’m doing, because I’ve been advocating hard for my kid since kindergarten — but any thoughts on navigating this? I use what few levers I have to encourage getting the work done, but he’s 17, and I can’t exactly tie him to a chair.
— Co-Parent of an Unmotivated Teen
( Read more... )
3. Dear Carolyn: I have always found the holidays to be a massive pain in the neck, and I have little interest in participating. This is not a new thing; I’m 30, and I’ve always felt that way. Like Scrooge, I’ve always been happy to let others keep Christmas in their way and for me to not keep it in mine.
Two years ago, I was married. Our engagement happened over a Christmas season, so my wife was well aware before she married me that I’m not the Christmas type.
Well, you guessed it, she is insistent that I help pick out and decorate a tree, put up Christmas decorations, attend holiday events, and buy a bunch of Christmas gifts. I’ve told her point-blank that I will not do it. I’ve told her SHE is welcome to buy and decorate as many trees as she wants, but I’m not helping with it. This has led to a couple of arguments, tears and claims that I’m selfish. She’s not speaking to me after I told her yesterday that I wasn’t planning to be home for the big party she’s planning to throw.
To me, Christmas is like religion: Practice it if you want, but don’t nag other people to practice it with you, and don’t try to change people who are (or were) happy with their lives as they are. So who’s right here?
— Scrooge
( Read more... )
4. Dear Carolyn: Two years ago, my in-laws asked me and my husband if we wanted them to help us buy a house. They had asked before and we said no, but at this point we were ready to start building community roots, so we said yes please. With their help, we bought a house we love(d), a cozy four-bedroom house in a progressive suburb.
On a visit a few months later, my mother-in-law tutted over the two bedrooms we turned into our offices, commenting that “it will be hard to repurpose these for babies when it’s time.” At no point have we ever indicated that we plan to have children, and in fact we do not plan to, which we had to tell her then.
Carolyn, she was so upset that it was shocking. Though my father-in-law helped defuse, she bawled violently at this news and informed us that she felt like she had bought us a house under false pretenses. She eventually collected herself but was subdued for the rest of the planned visit, another day and a half.
It has been about 18 months since then, and our relationship is now chilly. I feel uncomfortable inviting them to our home because now I feel like they think we don’t deserve it. I find it hurtful to know they wanted us to have a nice house not so that we could enjoy our own lives, but to enrich their grandchildren. And at some level, I feel like we stole from them, even though it’s ridiculous.
Every week, I tell my husband I think we should sell the house, give them some of the proceeds and go back to apartment living. He says I’m nuts and to ignore his mom’s dramatics. But did we do something wrong here?
— Hurt
( Read more... )
Happy Holidays
Dec. 3rd, 2025 03:11 pm90stvfangirl posting in holiday_wishesHiya, this is my first wishlist. Wishing everyone a happy holiday season from Australia!
1. I collect comic books and really enjoy comics from the 80's and 90's. I prefer DC (Superman or Superman adjacent). If you happen to have any old comics laying around just collecting dust I would love to take them off your hands. They don't have to be in mint condition. Even if they are falling apart as long as they are readable I would love them.
2. As mentioned above , I am a Superman and fan and love the Lois/Clark pairing. I would enjoy any fanfic recs, specifically if it's fluffy. My favourite Superman fandoms are My Adventures with Superman, Lois & Clark & the James Gunn Superman movie. I am not a Smallville fan (I really tried, promise).
3. I'm looking to make more connections and friends around the world and would love some penpals/email/discord friends. I am neurodivergent and physically disabled. Some of my interests are Superman (duh), Taylor Swift, my dog & animals in general. I enjoy writing fanfic. I would love to write/chat to anyone. You can email me at 90stvfangirl @ gmail . com for my address or other details. Or DM me!
4. TV show recommendations. I like most genres, but favour horror/sci-fi. Some of my favourite shows ever are Buffy, Lois & Clark, Bones, X Files (I love to ship...), Evil. So anything with those vibes. I'm currently watching Pluribus and loving it! I also don't mind current shows like Grey's, 9-1-1, SVU.
5. Comic book recommendations. I bought myself a Kindle Color and I'm loving reading comics on it. I have a Kindle Unlimited account (free for 3 months), so any Kindle Unlimited comic recommendations would be amazing. Some comics I enjoy besides Superman are Fables, Saga, The Walking Dead. I wouldn't mind trying Batman, but where to start?
6. My very random amazon wishlist.
7. Read and comment on my fanfic! 90sfangirl79
8. Donate to the www.heartfoundation.org.au/ or your country’s equivalent!
Thank you everyone! <3
1. I collect comic books and really enjoy comics from the 80's and 90's. I prefer DC (Superman or Superman adjacent). If you happen to have any old comics laying around just collecting dust I would love to take them off your hands. They don't have to be in mint condition. Even if they are falling apart as long as they are readable I would love them.
2. As mentioned above , I am a Superman and fan and love the Lois/Clark pairing. I would enjoy any fanfic recs, specifically if it's fluffy. My favourite Superman fandoms are My Adventures with Superman, Lois & Clark & the James Gunn Superman movie. I am not a Smallville fan (I really tried, promise).
3. I'm looking to make more connections and friends around the world and would love some penpals/email/discord friends. I am neurodivergent and physically disabled. Some of my interests are Superman (duh), Taylor Swift, my dog & animals in general. I enjoy writing fanfic. I would love to write/chat to anyone. You can email me at 90stvfangirl @ gmail . com for my address or other details. Or DM me!
4. TV show recommendations. I like most genres, but favour horror/sci-fi. Some of my favourite shows ever are Buffy, Lois & Clark, Bones, X Files (I love to ship...), Evil. So anything with those vibes. I'm currently watching Pluribus and loving it! I also don't mind current shows like Grey's, 9-1-1, SVU.
5. Comic book recommendations. I bought myself a Kindle Color and I'm loving reading comics on it. I have a Kindle Unlimited account (free for 3 months), so any Kindle Unlimited comic recommendations would be amazing. Some comics I enjoy besides Superman are Fables, Saga, The Walking Dead. I wouldn't mind trying Batman, but where to start?
6. My very random amazon wishlist.
7. Read and comment on my fanfic! 90sfangirl79
8. Donate to the www.heartfoundation.org.au/ or your country’s equivalent!
Thank you everyone! <3
Fanfic, Bionicle - All Media Types, Matau & Vakama & Kongu & Jaller, Halloween
Dec. 2nd, 2025 09:46 pmbluerosekatie posting in smallfandomfestTitle: Ikhukravai
Author: bluerosekatie
Fandom: Bionicle - All Media Types
Pairing/Characters: Matau & Vakama & Kongu & Jaller
Rating/Category: Gen
Prompt: Bionicle - All Media Types, Matau & Vakama & Kongu & Jaller, a tense Halloween-like night as the truce with Makuta ends.
Spoilers: Mentions of the Metru Nui arc.
Summary: The Night of Life and Death falls, and the Turaga teach the Matoran to beware the shadows.
Notes/Warnings: Fic is archive-locked to avoid AI scraping.
Read it on Ao3 here!
Author: bluerosekatie
Fandom: Bionicle - All Media Types
Pairing/Characters: Matau & Vakama & Kongu & Jaller
Rating/Category: Gen
Prompt: Bionicle - All Media Types, Matau & Vakama & Kongu & Jaller, a tense Halloween-like night as the truce with Makuta ends.
Spoilers: Mentions of the Metru Nui arc.
Summary: The Night of Life and Death falls, and the Turaga teach the Matoran to beware the shadows.
Notes/Warnings: Fic is archive-locked to avoid AI scraping.
Read it on Ao3 here!
Fic Rec: All Summer in a Day by Luna (True Detective: Night Country, Danvers/Navarro)
Dec. 2nd, 2025 07:52 pmscintilla10 posting in womansplaceKicking off rec_cember with a recent femslash fic (written for rarepairexchange 2025) that blew my socks off.
Fandom: True Detective: Night Country
Fanwork type: Fic
Pairings/Characters: Liz Danvers/Evangeline Navarro
Rating and/or Content Warnings: no archive warnings apply, implied/referenced suicide
Links: All Summer in a Day by![[archiveofourown.org profile]](https://p2.dreamwidth.org/b164c54b26e4/-/archiveofourown.org/favicon.ico)
Luna
Summary:
Reccer's Notes: Post-canon reunion (or is it?). I loved the lyrical rhythm of the writing, and beautifully vivid descriptions of the landscape. Liz's sharp, cynical narrative voice is excellent, and I loved the thoughtfulness and depth of the characterization and the focus on their spiky, intense relationship. (And hot! It's very sexy, too.)
rec_cember with a recent femslash fic (written for rarepairexchange 2025) that blew my socks off.Fandom: True Detective: Night Country
Fanwork type: Fic
Pairings/Characters: Liz Danvers/Evangeline Navarro
Rating and/or Content Warnings: no archive warnings apply, implied/referenced suicide
Links: All Summer in a Day by
Summary:
Liz stops sleeping.
Some nights, she's busy trying to claw her way out from under an avalanche of paperwork. Some nights, she just can't keep her eyes closed. She can put on a sleep mask or bury her face in the pillows, but she's still aware of the light glowing out there, and the absence of anyone warm in the bed next to her.
(Or: six months later, a reunion.)
Reccer's Notes: Post-canon reunion (or is it?). I loved the lyrical rhythm of the writing, and beautifully vivid descriptions of the landscape. Liz's sharp, cynical narrative voice is excellent, and I loved the thoughtfulness and depth of the characterization and the focus on their spiky, intense relationship. (And hot! It's very sexy, too.)
Rec-Cember Day 2: Vid: Not Gonna Stop Me Getting Through (Babylon 5)
Dec. 2nd, 2025 06:49 pmsholioA G'Kar vid! This well edited vid does a marvelous job of hitting the grace notes of G'Kar's arc without exactly recapping it. (Does definitely contain spoilers.)
Vid bysandalwoodbox - I think it was Tumblr where I originally saw this, but it's posted on AO3 here.
Vid by
Vid Rec: Rise Up
Dec. 2nd, 2025 08:53 pmcolls posting in womansplaceFandom: Hidden Figures
Fanwork type: vid
Pairings/Characters: Mary Jackson & Katherine Johnson & Dorothy Vaughan
Rating and/or Content Warnings: no archive warnings apply
Links: Vid: Rise Up bycosmic_llin
Summary: I promise we'll take the world to its feet
Reccer's Notes: I thought this would be a good vid to kick off my 'ladies in space recs' forrec_cember
This is one of my favorite movies vidded to one of my favorite songs. Both are full of tenacity and hope and overcoming odds and the vid is just beautiful. And it's what got us to the moon! <333
Fanwork type: vid
Pairings/Characters: Mary Jackson & Katherine Johnson & Dorothy Vaughan
Rating and/or Content Warnings: no archive warnings apply
Links: Vid: Rise Up by
Summary: I promise we'll take the world to its feet
Reccer's Notes: I thought this would be a good vid to kick off my 'ladies in space recs' for
rec_cemberThis is one of my favorite movies vidded to one of my favorite songs. Both are full of tenacity and hope and overcoming odds and the vid is just beautiful. And it's what got us to the moon! <333
Happy Holidays!
Dec. 2nd, 2025 07:06 pmdisney_dark posting in holiday_wishesI am in the United States (NJ) and live with my finicky cat. I appreciate anything you might do/get for me! If my address is needed, please message me!
My wishes:
1) a cat toy for an 8 year old finicky cat who hates balls, springs, wands, and bird toys that chirp and "fly"
2) an extra long pink fitted sheet with deep pockets
3) large statement earrings or Christmas earrings
4) cards for Christmas or my Birthday (12/21)
5) some love for my fics at https://archiveofourown.org/users/Disney_Dark if you like any
6) anything Disney Princess, tangible or not
7) meal ideas for a fruitarian diet (not overly high in calories, fat, or extreme sugar)
8) Disney songs played on a piano or other instrument that I can use in Youtube videos (with credit)
9) warm socks
10) any from my Amazon wishlist: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3BQYW1LIXKIK8
My wishes:
1) a cat toy for an 8 year old finicky cat who hates balls, springs, wands, and bird toys that chirp and "fly"
2) an extra long pink fitted sheet with deep pockets
3) large statement earrings or Christmas earrings
4) cards for Christmas or my Birthday (12/21)
5) some love for my fics at https://archiveofourown.org/users/Disney_Dark if you like any
6) anything Disney Princess, tangible or not
7) meal ideas for a fruitarian diet (not overly high in calories, fat, or extreme sugar)
8) Disney songs played on a piano or other instrument that I can use in Youtube videos (with credit)
9) warm socks
10) any from my Amazon wishlist: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3BQYW1LIXKIK8
Tags:
Unshelved strip originally published on Thu, 20 Aug 2015
Dec. 3rd, 2025 12:00 amunshelved_feedThis classic Unshelved strip originally appeared on Thu, 20 Aug 2015.
GenPrompt Bingo Card Round 29
Dec. 2nd, 2025 06:00 pmsenmut| Housewife / Househusband | Tragedy | Freestyle crossover | Vignette | Women Being Awesome |
| Five Things | Contemporary AU | A Moment of Understanding / Clarity | A Strange Friend | First person narration |
| Steampunk AU | Horror | Wild Card | Second person narration | Drama |
| Crossover: TV shows and movies | There is No Escape | A Test of Worthiness | Reality is Illusion | Taxes |
| High School / College AU | Humour | Teenagers | A Blessing is Bestowed | Furnishing the Home |