Why kids hate adults, part pi^e

[kengr]

I just got reminded of yet another classic case of older folks *assuming* things...

I was about 7, at a summer camp. On a hike the counselor detoured us of the trail a bit to look for fools gold (iron pyrite crystals). He set us to digging. Only thing was he never thought to explain what fools gold *was* or what it looked like.

I see it *all the time* when adults (and even older "minors" (the counselor was a high school student)) are dealing with kids. They assume that because they know something and it ain't math or "tech stuff" then *of course* the kid will know it.

It's *really* bad when it's a "how to behave" thing. :-(

It must be related to the way so many folks seem to have no memory of what life was like as a kid.

I mean yeah, they can remember facts, but they seem to block what it felt like. And not recall a lot of other things as well.

Comments

[stickmaker.livejournal.com]

Major changes take place in the brain during puberty. Adults literally do not think the way kids do. That's no excuse, but it does explain the distance most adults feel from their childhood. (How many times have you heard someone relate something dangerous or outrageous they did as a child and express bafflement that they could ever have been so "stupid"?)

Of course, most of the type of behavior you describe is simply due to the tendency of most humans to believe that everything has always been the way it is here and now. I've seen adults do this with other adults who are from a different background.

A few years ago, a Japanese businessman who had moved to this area due to the Toyota plant was arrested for not stopping when a police car pulled up behind his vehicle with the flashing lights on. They had to drop the charges. Turns out nowhere in the Kentucky drivers' manual did it say you have to stop when a police car pulls up behind you with the lights flashing.

[kengr]

I seem to have missed out on a lot of that change in thinking. Yeah, hormones affected priorities, but otherwise the main difference I see is a matter of gained experience and skills.

[fayanora.livejournal.com]

I have the perfect icon for this.

That whole blocking what it felt like to be a kid thing is one thing about adults I will never understand. And it's a big reason why I don't think of myself as an adult. I think of myself as a physically mature child.

[maxstories.livejournal.com]

Remembering what it was like to be a kid (or in general having been through many bad situations and remembering how you got there and what got you out of there) doesn't help either. The attention span of most aliens kids is too short to provide them with detail and still expect them to carry on.

As for what it felt like... people believe how they felt was *everything* and no one else *ever* felt like they did. This kind of desperate misplaced individualism causes most people to have serious blocks when it comes to relating to others. For the people who do connect and remember the feelings, there is a strong urge to meddle and modify things - which kids openly resist. An adult knowing what is going to happen if the kid continues down a bad path has never been sufficient reason for a kid to change course.

Behaviour though - wow that's tricky. You tell a kid to be honest and loyal, so the kid gets used by others. You tell a kid a white lie is necessary now and again, and you suddenly have to deal with fictional accounts so murky they beg for you to shine a spotlight on them. You tell a kid to mind their manners, and they want to know why you don't mind yours.

Behaviour can be so dependent on context and understanding the personalities of others that adults get rather muddled quite regularly. You cannot expect a kid to grasp anything more than conceptual notions, and a healthy kid does lots of experimentation to figure out their boundaries and others.

[kengr]

I'm writing a new post about this because my reply turned into another rant.