kengr

Son of the Sith
(Why Darth Vader Ran Away From Home)
Tune: Imperial March by John Wllliams

Darth Vader's mother wears army boots,
And when she does wears them with sequined suits,
Darth Vader can't stand his mother wearing army boots
Refrain: And that's why Darth Vader ran away from home.

Darth Vader's father wears patterned pantyhose pantyhose,
And when he does, pulls them up to his nose,
Darth Vader can't stand his father wearing pantyhose,
Refrain

Darth Vader's sister works on the strip,
And she gets only five bucks a trick,
Darth Vader can't stand his sister being so damned cheap,
Refrain

Darth Vader's uncle Ben isn't clean,
Lives with the Jawas on dry Tatooine,
Darth Vader can't stand his uncle shoveling Bantha chips,
Refrain

Darth Vader's auntie Em raise womps,
Has a round-up each year in the swamps,
Darth Vader can't stand his auntie raising the womps,
Refrain

Darth Vader's wife runs around with other men,
Took up an offer from the Prince of Alderan,
Darth Vader can't stand his wife always sleeping around,
Refrain

Darth Vader's daughter is a terrorist,
Steals Death Star plans in her white bedroom shift,
Darth Vader can't stand his daughter being revolting,
Refrain

Darth Vader's son Skywalker is a wimp,
A dropped-out Jedi, a hick and a shrimp,
Darth Vader can't stand his son being such a wimp,
Refrain

This one dates back to at least 1984

BOOT IT!
(tune: Michael Jackson's "Beat it")

You're processing some words when your keyboard goes dead,
Ten pages in the buffer, should have gone to bed,
The system just crashed, but don't lose your head,
Just BOOT IT, just BOOT IT.

Better think fast, better do what you can,
Read the manual or call your system man,
Don't want to fall behind in the race with Japan,
So BOOT IT,

Get the system manager to
BOOT IT, BOOT IT,
Even though you'd rather shoot it.
Don't be upset, it's only some glitch.
All that you do is flip a little switch.

BOOT IT, BOOT IT,
Get right down and restitute it.
Don't get excited, all is not lost.
CP/M, UNIX, or MS/DOS
Just BOOT IT, boot it, boot it, boot it...

You gotta have your printout for the meeting at two,
The system says your job's at the head of the queue,
Right then the thing dies, but you know what to do,
BOOT IT.

You always get so worried when the system runs slow,
And when it finally crashes, man you feel so low,
But computers make mistakes (they're only human you know)
So BOOT IT,

Call the local guru to
BOOT IT, BOOT IT,
Go ahead re-institute it.
If you're not lucky, get the book off the shelf,
But if you are, it'll do itself.
BOOT IT, BOOT IT,
Then go find the guy who screwed it!
Operating systems are built to bounce back,
Whether it's a Cray or a Radio Shack.

BOOT IT, BOOT IT.

This is about as ancient.

God Rest Ye CS Students

God reset ye CS students now let nothing you dismay,
The VAX is down and won't be up until the first of May
The program that was due this morn won't be postponed they say.
Oh, tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy,
Oh, tidings of comfort and joy!

The bearings on the disk are gone, and bits are dropping too,
We've found a bug in C, and Pascal can't tell false from true,
And now we find that we can't get at Berkeley's 4.2
Oh, tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy,
Oh, tidings of comfort and joy!

And all you fans of matrix math who would use APL,
You'd find out if the VAX were up, it wouldn't work too well,
And if you try, then it'll say that you can go to... well...
Oh, tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy,
Oh, tidings of comfort and joy!

We've just received a call from DEC, they'll send without delay,
A system they call RSX it takes nine hundred k,
The staff committed suicide we'll bury them today.
Oh, tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy,
Oh, tidings of comfort and joy!

And now more cheery news for you, the network's also dead,
You'll have to run your programs on the IBM instead,
The turnaround time's nineteen weeks and only cards are read.
Oh, tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy,
Oh, tidings of comfort and joy!

And now we'd like to say to you before we go away,
We hope the news we've brought to you won't ruin your whole day,
You've another program due tomorrow, by the way.
Oh, tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy,
Oh, tidings of comfort and joy!
EOF