useful insight
Dec. 12th, 2020 12:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kengrI was thinking about kids playing and the "game" of "keep away" came to mind.
That's where someone snatches something of someone else's and a group of kids "keep it away" from the owner. Can be harmless fun.
But usually it *isn't*. Because they'l grab it from some kid who isn't big enough to make them give it back nor fast enough to catch one of them before they toss it to someone else.
and the insight I had was that someone should stop the kids and point out that *they* may be having fun but the kid the item belongs to *isn't*. If he had a reasonable chance, then it *might* still be considered play. but as he doesn't it's turned into bullying.
After more thought, I realized this principle is *far* more widely applicable and applies to much of what is wrong with the world.
"You" (generic) may be having fun but the people you are "playing" with aren't. And that's usually because they don't have a reasonable chance against you.
This applies to various forms of harassment, power games and so on.
If we could just teach *kids* that it's *wrong* to be having "fun" at the expense of others who no longer find it remotely "fun" (if they ever did) just think what things might be like if they carried the new attitude over to when they are adults.
BTW, note how the justifications for a lot of bullying by kids amounts to "but they are just having fun". Or the more subtle "it encourages them to be stronger/faster/tougher".
The first is directly addressed by "the other kid(s) *aren't* having fun"
The second is likely best addressed by "it only 'helps' them if there's a *reasonable* chance for them to 'win'. If there isn't, it just rubs their noses in their shortcomings."
Again, consider how this carries over to adult behavior and often gets "justified" by "we went thru it, so should they" bit
That's where someone snatches something of someone else's and a group of kids "keep it away" from the owner. Can be harmless fun.
But usually it *isn't*. Because they'l grab it from some kid who isn't big enough to make them give it back nor fast enough to catch one of them before they toss it to someone else.
and the insight I had was that someone should stop the kids and point out that *they* may be having fun but the kid the item belongs to *isn't*. If he had a reasonable chance, then it *might* still be considered play. but as he doesn't it's turned into bullying.
After more thought, I realized this principle is *far* more widely applicable and applies to much of what is wrong with the world.
"You" (generic) may be having fun but the people you are "playing" with aren't. And that's usually because they don't have a reasonable chance against you.
This applies to various forms of harassment, power games and so on.
If we could just teach *kids* that it's *wrong* to be having "fun" at the expense of others who no longer find it remotely "fun" (if they ever did) just think what things might be like if they carried the new attitude over to when they are adults.
BTW, note how the justifications for a lot of bullying by kids amounts to "but they are just having fun". Or the more subtle "it encourages them to be stronger/faster/tougher".
The first is directly addressed by "the other kid(s) *aren't* having fun"
The second is likely best addressed by "it only 'helps' them if there's a *reasonable* chance for them to 'win'. If there isn't, it just rubs their noses in their shortcomings."
Again, consider how this carries over to adult behavior and often gets "justified" by "we went thru it, so should they" bit
