Childhood hell

[kengr]

Reading yet another tale that all too accurately recounts what childhood was like for many, I once again had the "If I were dictator" thoughts on dealing with such things. But this time a few new ideas came to mind.

Not sure how to break the culture of "don't involve the adults" that keeps so many kids enduring stuff that should never happen. Finding ways to make it obvious *to the kids* that adults who can't be trusted get punished for it might help. Meanwhile:

Fighting: Ok, many boys (and some girls) actually enjoy a bit of a tussle. Or at least have no problem with it if it's a fair fight and they've got a reason.

So outright saying "no fighting" is a non starter. Finding ways to limit it to something resembling mutual consent and one of one with no retaliation from "buddies" of the loser against the winner would suffice for that.

The big kid picking on the smaller kid (or other mismatches such as a kid with lots of skill/experience/strength against a kid without it) and ganging up should get treated as assault, with only some mitigation for age.

"Games" like keepaway are theft. Plain and simple. No excuses of the "we were just playing" sort. Again, *some* mitigation for age.

Damaging/destroying things belonging to other kids is vandalism. Period.

Adults who are supposedly supervising or otherwise responsible for the kids and either don't prevent this stuff or shrug it off get charged as *accessories*. As adults. (one of the new thoughts).

Somehow, I suspect that the teachers, coaches, etc who try to say "kids will be kids" or "the wimp needs to stand up for himself" or any of the other loathsome things that are too often used as excuses would change their tune is the "pranks" or "jokes" or "boisterousness" could result in them facing criminal charges. And face it, these things *are* crimes, even if current society doesn't want to treat them as such.

Alas I can't come up with good ways to deal with the "sports are super important" folks.

One thought regarding PE though. Heart rate monitors are pretty cheap, and pulse oximeters could be if they were produced in larger numbers.

I have this vision of a PE class were all the students are wearing them and some authority figure points at the readings for some kid like I was and reams the PE teacher a new one for telling the kid to try harder when the "wimp has a higher heart rate than the jocks and is struggling with a lot lower blood oxygen level as well.

Come to think of it, something like those, maybe with a couple other things like a temp sensor might be able to be pushed as a way to avoid liability for pushing kids too far...

Dealing with the various horrid memes out there, like "being brainy is bad" or worthy of getting picked on for, or that acting "gay" or "like a sissy" is worthy of abuse are another whole set of problems.

But being able to just stop the *physical* abuses would help.

Comments

[fayanora.livejournal.com]

AMEN!

Does the end justify the means-? but not as you- or they would agree upon :>

[capybyra.livejournal.com]

That outline you've put together about biomonitoring to weed out abusers and protect the abused. To a point- it's a damned good concept. I'd fear it being misused by untrustworthy administrative persons. Even in the best case where we'd have a trustworthy set of guardians? The eventual fear is that those initially trustworthy guardians would de-evolve into bad things.

Abuse's never acceptable in a sane society. But, societies can de-evolve into unintended consequences. #deity willing- your ideas could make our world be more just for the diversity we should cherish.

And, for an example of one haunting cautionary tale:

http://www.tnellen.com/cybereng/harrison.html

Re: Does the end justify the means-? but not as you- or they would agree upon :>

[kengr]

I was just talking about simple monitoring for PE (and sports practice).

Not for anything else. And frankly, it'd not be *useful* for much else. Definitely not useful for lie detectopr or the like.

But as I noted, being able to point out that the kid who is "not trying hard enough" has a heart rate thru the roof, and (with the pulse oximeter) has low blood oxygen would pretty much show the coach was confusing effort and results.

Agreed. to a point of just me being paranoid :)

[capybyra.livejournal.com]

Freedom and security sadly are at risk from those who abuse trusts. Often, they protect abusers from accountability. at least that was my childhood experience with the protected thugs on sports teams. Your idea of determining if someone's overstressed is truly worth trying to make real.

Re: Does the end justify the means-? but not as you- or they would agree upon :>

[kengr]

The other ideas (before the monitor) were thoughts about changes in law (and hopefully in enforcement so as to change culture) that would add actual *consequences* for the all too typical abuses and those who abet them by trying to maintain they are "nothing to worry about".

[stickmaker.livejournal.com]

My effort to help, put together with the assistance of an educational psychologist I know:

http://www.dcr.net/~stickmak/Nerd/

[kengr]

Ah yes, I read that on your site, years back.

In my occasional fantasies of being able to go back to my childhood and pose as my own "uncle" (and I daresay that I now know things that'd have made my mom go along with it) there area number of "discussions" with teachers/administrators about the way my younger self was treated. Including filing police reports for *theft* regarding things like hiding the battered old briefcase that I hauled my books around in. (this happened *weekly* in my last period PE class in my junior year in HS).

I'd also have filed assault charges against the guy who used a tear gas pen on me. Instead, in reality I got the friend who was with me to go back to school (junior high) with me and complain to the Guidance Counselor.

Which, btw, resulted in *both* me and my attacker getting suspended for several days. That seems to be a pattern even now. Report an assault and the *victim* gets suspended as well.

[xander-opal.livejournal.com]

Your point on the safety aspects of the meters in PE and school sports is a good one.
In general response, while the overt reason I changed school systems between junior high and HS was that the first system no longer had an ag program, the truth was the teasing had long since crossed over into abuse. I'd had some therapy, but with the abuse still ongoing it was of limited effect. Also at the time, I was not aware of how much confidentiality I had. So, the therapist was unable to gain enough information into my head to fully help.
I'm still pretty paranoid in some ways about those things.