Annoying "special" days

[kengr]

Oh the ways society tries to enforce "proper" behavior and attitudes. And make a profit at the same time.

Apologies to those of you who had a good relationship with your mothers...



Me, it took me *decades* to decide that she wasn't trying to mess me up, but that her best guess as to the right thing to do was far too often the exact wrong thing to do with me.

And she's been dead a while anyway so...

Other such holidays:

Father's day (Never had one except in the biological sense since I was adopted by a widow)
Valentine's day: ask any single person about *that* one...

Comments

[ebonhost.livejournal.com]

I've never understood Mother/Father's day... what makes someone special just because they decided to spawn? Considering the state of the world, it'd be wiser to celebrate those who -don't- add to the world's overpopulation. :P (This is coming from someone who thinks parenthood should come with screening, and is convinced his parents would have failed, though.)

[kengr]

Well, properly speaking, the intent was more to honor those who *parented*.

Being a good parent is *hard* and deserves to be honored. But there aren't that many and the screams you'd get if you actually called the bad parents on it would pretty much rule out trying. :-(

Also, birth rates have been dropping for a long time in the US & Europe. Probably Canada, Australia too. And they've dropped badly in Japan.

Contrary to popular belief, it looks like if we raised the rest of the world to something approaching a decent standard of living, we'd get a population drop once it'd "settled in".

It's the transition phase that's a problem. When you've got good survival rates but still have all the old cultural "instincts".

[ebonhost.livejournal.com]

If someone was a good parent, they wouldn't need to have a day singled out to honour them, because they would be honoured and respected by the children they had raised every day. Then again, that's an ideal situation, isn't it?

I won't disagree that it's difficult to be a good parent. In addition to having crappy genetics that I wouldn't wish on an enemy, I freely admit that I don't have what it takes to be a good parent, which is why I'm childless. I like kids, and they tend to like me, but I'm not cut out for the kind of investment of time and energy that raising children full-time would require.

In some ways, it's too bad that this society puts so much emphasis on breeding, and how all women 'should' feel the urge to procreate, or they aren't 'real women'. (Which is hogwash, of course.)

I was fourteen when I decided I didn't want to ever have children. Never have regretted that decision. :)

[kengr]

I tend to like kids too.

But I was far too afraid of turning into my mother to want to have any. And I suspect I couldn't have any of my own without medical intervention now.

And I'm definitely not responsible enough to be a parent.

I was an ok babysitter, but I quit doing that for friends with kids after I caught chicken pox. Never having had any of the childhood diseases make me a real poor risk around kids.

[kengr]

Maybe one of these days.

Just FTR

[morgan-gw.livejournal.com]

..the day wasn't invented by the greeting card industry (though I agree they've way commercialized it, just like any other holiday they can get their hands on).

Mother's Day was originally meant to be anti-war:

The "Mother's Day Proclamation" by Julia Ward Howe was one of the early calls to celebrate Mother's Day in the United States. Written in 1870, Howe's Mother's Day Proclamation was a pacifist reaction to the carnage of the American Civil War and the Franco-Prussian War. The Proclamation was tied to Howe's feminist belief that women had a responsibility to shape their societies at the political level.

I agree that no one is deserving of respect just because they've proven their ability to breed. But I do think it's nice to have some recognition for those who have done their best to do a good job of parenting, whether of their own bio-progeny or not. I say "done their best" because I don't believe in a "perfect" parent, just those who honestly try to do right by their charges.

Your point about what the day's become, though... I can't disagree.