![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
Why kids hate adults, part pi^e
I just got reminded of yet another classic case of older folks *assuming* things...
I was about 7, at a summer camp. On a hike the counselor detoured us of the trail a bit to look for fools gold (iron pyrite crystals). He set us to digging. Only thing was he never thought to explain what fools gold *was* or what it looked like.
I see it *all the time* when adults (and even older "minors" (the counselor was a high school student)) are dealing with kids. They assume that because they know something and it ain't math or "tech stuff" then *of course* the kid will know it.
It's *really* bad when it's a "how to behave" thing. :-(
It must be related to the way so many folks seem to have no memory of what life was like as a kid.
I mean yeah, they can remember facts, but they seem to block what it felt like. And not recall a lot of other things as well.
I was about 7, at a summer camp. On a hike the counselor detoured us of the trail a bit to look for fools gold (iron pyrite crystals). He set us to digging. Only thing was he never thought to explain what fools gold *was* or what it looked like.
I see it *all the time* when adults (and even older "minors" (the counselor was a high school student)) are dealing with kids. They assume that because they know something and it ain't math or "tech stuff" then *of course* the kid will know it.
It's *really* bad when it's a "how to behave" thing. :-(
It must be related to the way so many folks seem to have no memory of what life was like as a kid.
I mean yeah, they can remember facts, but they seem to block what it felt like. And not recall a lot of other things as well.
no subject
alienskids is too short to provide them with detail and still expect them to carry on.As for what it felt like... people believe how they felt was *everything* and no one else *ever* felt like they did. This kind of desperate misplaced individualism causes most people to have serious blocks when it comes to relating to others. For the people who do connect and remember the feelings, there is a strong urge to meddle and modify things - which kids openly resist. An adult knowing what is going to happen if the kid continues down a bad path has never been sufficient reason for a kid to change course.
Behaviour though - wow that's tricky. You tell a kid to be honest and loyal, so the kid gets used by others. You tell a kid a white lie is necessary now and again, and you suddenly have to deal with fictional accounts so murky they beg for you to shine a spotlight on them. You tell a kid to mind their manners, and they want to know why you don't mind yours.
Behaviour can be so dependent on context and understanding the personalities of others that adults get rather muddled quite regularly. You cannot expect a kid to grasp anything more than conceptual notions, and a healthy kid does lots of experimentation to figure out their boundaries and others.
no subject