simply asking a question, a request for information, isn't confrontational (or it doesn't have to be, anyway).
Asking something that may have already been answered sufficiently (in the mind of the person being asked) is "confrontational". Asking about doing something that's "against policy" may be.
Basically, the "rule" is "if they might get upset....". At a very deep level "upset person" is linked to "going to *hurt* me, badly" (emotionally or physically) At least if the upset is "connected with" me. And even if it isn't, it still kicks in the "fight/flight" reflex (or in my case, more "run/hide" reflex.
Given this, *and* the possible consequences of failure to get permission (evicted) I don't *do* the "easier to get forgiveness" except in cases where the odds of getting caught are *really* low.
What's that? Why yes, I *am* scared of way too much... :-(
no subject
Asking something that may have already been answered sufficiently (in the mind of the person being asked) is "confrontational". Asking about doing something that's "against policy" may be.
Basically, the "rule" is "if they might get upset....". At a very deep level "upset person" is linked to "going to *hurt* me, badly" (emotionally or physically) At least if the upset is "connected with" me. And even if it isn't, it still kicks in the "fight/flight" reflex (or in my case, more "run/hide" reflex.
Given this, *and* the possible consequences of failure to get permission (evicted) I don't *do* the "easier to get forgiveness" except in cases where the odds of getting caught are *really* low.
What's that? Why yes, I *am* scared of way too much... :-(