You know, I see ingrained reactions (such as your expectation that you'll be harangued for a fuckup over and over and over again) as an old, boring, but familiar dance. We know the dance, we hate it, but it's familiar, so we keep dancing it over and over again.

And then we get a new partner and they take an unfamiliar step, and while it may keep us away from the parts of the dance that hurt us, it's not familiar, so it's shocking.

Lin didn't dance the dance you're accustomed to, did she?

*hug* Learn a new dance, hon. This one is healthier.

(But please don't be normal. Normal is BORING. *snug*)