I kinda loathe the concept. There's meat there to work on, you could write something with that, I don't want to try to stop you.
But my lack of femininity as an autistic, afab, genderqueer person is an achievement, not something I missed out on. I had to fight to be a person who wasn't defined by the stereotypes. I didn't not learn them; I had to learn how to escape them. And I didn't escape them by being masculine, either. I think unbundling the skills traditionally associated with masculinity and femininity is far kinder and more productive than offering them as a couple of package deals. There are already plenty of gendered role models and settings in society. If I want to learn sewing and martial arts, I don't need them attached to the gender baggage.
Even for people who are a binary gender, I think Boy 101 and/or Girl 101 as concepts are demeaning. There isn't a required skill base to be a complete and worthwhile woman, man, or adult person.
Don't get me wrong! I think that it is super valuable to have the opportunity to explore what being a gender or genders means. I think it's awesome to acquire traditional skills and find community in ways that models, across generations or levels of achievement, being a good person within a certain gender and culture. I know there are a lot of people who have benefited from gender coaches and 'this is my shopping gal pal who knows about girly stuff' and so on. My partner is going to redo an important religious observance to get it in her correct gender.
But the idea of 101 as a course title is 'this is the underlying basics, and if you don't have this, you probably aren't ready.' I think what more people need is an 800-level discussion seminar in being their authentic selves with the shitton of experience and skill they already have as well as the things they want to learn - not entry-level gatekeeping.
And fyi, I'm not mad, I'm not hurt, I'm just passionately interested in the topic. Please tell me if I've cannonballed into the conversation too hard.
<3 and good luck with writing and thinking and everything.
no subject
But my lack of femininity as an autistic, afab, genderqueer person is an achievement, not something I missed out on. I had to fight to be a person who wasn't defined by the stereotypes. I didn't not learn them; I had to learn how to escape them. And I didn't escape them by being masculine, either. I think unbundling the skills traditionally associated with masculinity and femininity is far kinder and more productive than offering them as a couple of package deals. There are already plenty of gendered role models and settings in society. If I want to learn sewing and martial arts, I don't need them attached to the gender baggage.
Even for people who are a binary gender, I think Boy 101 and/or Girl 101 as concepts are demeaning. There isn't a required skill base to be a complete and worthwhile woman, man, or adult person.
Don't get me wrong! I think that it is super valuable to have the opportunity to explore what being a gender or genders means. I think it's awesome to acquire traditional skills and find community in ways that models, across generations or levels of achievement, being a good person within a certain gender and culture. I know there are a lot of people who have benefited from gender coaches and 'this is my shopping gal pal who knows about girly stuff' and so on. My partner is going to redo an important religious observance to get it in her correct gender.
But the idea of 101 as a course title is 'this is the underlying basics, and if you don't have this, you probably aren't ready.' I think what more people need is an 800-level discussion seminar in being their authentic selves with the shitton of experience and skill they already have as well as the things they want to learn - not entry-level gatekeeping.
And fyi, I'm not mad, I'm not hurt, I'm just passionately interested in the topic. Please tell me if I've cannonballed into the conversation too hard.
<3 and good luck with writing and thinking and everything.